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Lawyers should never ask a
Mississippi grandma a question if they
aren't prepared for the answer.
In a trial, a Southern small-town
prosecuting attorney called his first
witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman
to the stand. He approached her and
asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?' She
responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr.
Williams. I've known you since you were
a boy, and frankly, you've been a big
disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat
on your wife, and you manipulate people
and talk about them behind their backs.
You think you're a big shot when you
haven't the brains to realize you'll
never amount to anything more than a
two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.'
The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what
else to do, he pointed across the room
and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know the
defense attorney?'
She again replied, 'Why yes, I do. I've
known Mr. Bradley since he was a
youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and
he has a drinking problem. He can't
build a normal relationship with anyone,
and his law practice is one of the worst
in the entire state. Not to mention he
cheated on his wife with three different
women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I
know him.'
The defense attorney nearly died.
The judge asked both counselors to
approach the bench and, in a very quiet
voice, said,
'If either of you idiots asks her if she
knows me, I'll send you both to the
electric chair.' |
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Published By:
Diesel Exhaust Systems
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